It has been a while since I have had a chance to write anything on here, as I have been back in the U.K, sorting out the funeral arrangements for my mum.
Sadly my mum passed away on 10th July. She was 84, and very independent. She was found by my brother, sat in her favorite chair, in the conservatory, and had suffered a heart attack, just after finishing her breakfast
The police came, and asked if she had been planning to go abroad recently, and if she held a fire arms certificate, I did not realize that these are the types of questions asked when someone passes, but I suppose they are necessary. I think mum would have found them funny as well.
I was quite overwhelmed, by a feeling of loss, and I admit relief as well, I had always been worried, that mum may have a fall, or suffer a stroke, and be in pain until someone found her, I would have hated that. I was concerned for her welfare, as almost two years ago she had a serious fire, whilst lighting an aromatherapy oil candle, the oil spilt from the holder, and dripped onto an electric radio that was on, sparks followed , and the blinds caught fire, quickly spreading to the rest of the house. She was seen by a neighbor, trying to rescue some cushions, but her feet had caught fire, to say she was lucky not to have tripped and burned to death then, was an understatement.
Hubby & I spent four months, following the fire in the U.K, clearing through the debris, and sorting out the Insurance Company, who was excellent, the house was virtually rebuilt, and the contents replaced. We did not let mum go in the house until it was finished, and when she did, she said it was like winning the lottery, or appearing on one of those makeover programs. She was especially pleased with her new bed, as at 82 was the only new bed she ever had, she had spent many years trying to dodge a spring, that kept sticking in her back on the old one. She also loved her 42 inch plasma TV, as she could now see the picture, as before she had bought some glasses from an ad in one of the Sunday papers, she resembled Cosmo Smallpiece in them, but she assured me they helped.
The worst thing at the moment, is not been able to talk to mum, she was politics mad, which used to drive me insane, especially as she would not listen to anyone else’s opinion, or point of view.
I miss not been able to ask her what she thought of the latest series of big brother, which she, unlike me, loved. ‘I like to see the way the people connect with each other’ she used to say, ‘why don’t you watch The Apprentice’, I would say, ‘Oh no it’s far too competitive for me’, which again I could never understand, as she even watched big brother first thing in the morning when they were all asleep.
I miss all the catalogues, she got through the post, all aimed at the older lady, and charging a fortune for their goods, but they always sent her a free gift, she loved that, thinking she had got one over on them, getting something for nothing, or so she thought. And my poor hubby who had to put all the plastic stuff she bought together as best he could, bearing in mind that 9 times out of 10, a crucial piece would be missing.
I miss the talks about family, past & present, and the way she loved all her great grandchildren, and how much she was looking forward to my brother Stephen becoming a grandparent for the first time. She would have been very proud of that.
My own son, made me laugh, when he reflected on his grandma, telling me how he had called up to her house unexpectedly, and found her dancing away to Bob Marley singing Jamming. Priceless.
Still I guess life goes on, mums’ passing has made me realize, just how quickly time does fly, and to treasure the moments you have with your loved ones, it is as they say not a rehearsal.
On a lighter note, at the funeral parlor, I happened to mentioned, that I was disappointed not to have received my Dad’s ashes when he passed away over 9 years ago. “Just a minute”, she said and trotted off to the back of the premises, which were used jointly as a joiners shop, and in she came carrying an urn, clearly marked with my Dad’s name on it. We couldn’t believe it. I can just imagine, my Dad saying about bloody time. Typical he had to wait for mum to be ready, no change there.
So we laid both mum and Dad to rest, in the rose garden, overlooking the sea, close to the bandstand. A perfectly beautiful resting place, for such a wonderful couple.
R.I.P Mum & Dad & Thank you for everything.
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